How we fought for Mum to pass away at home

This year’s National Palliative Care Week, from May 19 to 25, 2019, is inviting us to explore ‘What matters most?’ when it comes to palliative care.  

For some people ‘What matters most?’ may be the type of care they receive, or the people they’re surrounded by, or increasingly where they receive this care.

According to The Productivity Commission, 70 percent of Australians would prefer to die at home but less than 10 percent receive their wish.

Part of this comes back to us all having conversations around our end-of-life care and discussing our wishes with loved ones and health professionals.

When Noel’s mother Eileen passed away earlier this year at the age of 99, Noel says he was grateful to know about his mother’s wishes to pass away in her own home at Seasons Kallangur – an aged care community where Eileen lived in her own residence with high level personalised care delivered by Envigor, Seasons’ care partner.

But according to Noel, helping her achieve her wish wasn’t without its obstacles. As Eileen’s health was declining, there were times that Noel was told his mother would have to move into residential aged care.

“When she did have the occasional fall and she ended up going to hospital for a check we found that the hospital wasn’t all that aware of what Seasons could offer,” says Noel.

“We had to argue that we wanted Mum to go back to Seasons and not find a nursing home as Mum was already getting that care from Seasons.

“We found that the family really did need to do their homework and find out how things work and what’s expected of them so they can be proactive.”

Alicia Wooding, Envigor’s General Manager – Operations, says that Noel’s experience of advocating for his mother’s care wishes is a common one.

“Families with elderly parents do come under pressure, particularly when it comes time for palliative care, to either remain in hospital or to put their family member in residential aged care. However, there are other options for people who want to stay in their own environment where they are comfortable,” says Alicia.

“In Noel’s case he knew his mother’s wishes, so he was able to work with her medical practitioners and care providers to ensure she got the care she needed, delivered in the way she wanted it.

“It’s very important for families to talk about their care choices so they are in the best position to advocate for their loved one.”

After another hospital visit in Eileen’s final weeks, Noel says the family fought to grant Eileen her wish to pass away in her own home.

“We just said to them straight off, we want Mum to go home. The thing we’re left with as a family is when the last days came Mum was in her own home, she was in her own bed, the carers that were coming in to look after her knew her and cared for her.

“Mum was always so clean with her hair done and presented in lovely fresh clothes; the washing was always done for her. She even had nail polish on her fingers for the first time in her life, that we know of.

“As a family, we felt we were consoling the Seasons and Envigor staff, they were so emotionally involved in Mum’s care and that’s a wonderful memory to be left with from a family’s point of view. You couldn’t wish for more.”

Listen to Noel talk to Simon Lauder on ABC Radio South East about his palliative care journey with his mum:

 

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